Went to the drycleaners, been going to the same one roughly since I was a kid. The owner, a Palestinian Christian named Ryan is a kindly guy he and his brothers own the liquor sto across the street from his drycleaners, also a few apartment buildings in the hood too.

I live in Uptown, and it has a reputation for being a seedier sector of the city...but whatever...that's something of a gross misnomer. This area is being yuppified by the second. I could set up a ticker displaying how many yuppies by the minute move here. Condo's errected seemingly overnight, and the many charming divebars with their native persona's have been bought out and given a Jenny Jone's makeover.

But it really is a strange place, far stranger than any other area in the city by far. Of course, every wannabe Chicagoan can argue the point but who cares...it's my take on it.

Racially it's been likened to one of the most diverse hoods in the entire country at one point. I wonder what other place has taken the mantle but its pretty true. Palestinians here, an Assyrian church at the end of my block, little Saigon (Vietown) just a few blocks away. A racially mixed up freakazoid like myself hailing from a racial hotpot like uptown, well it fits. But it probrably attributes to why I'm so accepting of people from very different ethnicities from myself. It might not seem rare, but despite its many representative minorities Chicago retains a suprisingly small minded and segragated attitude, subtle and not at once easily detected. But I've been to the east coast and have dwelt there. One thing I do like about New York city over the Windy City is its people. They're a tinge bit more sophisticated and even sociable on some level, or maybe it's just a flawed take on things. I wasn't out there that long after all.

I went to a local bar on Friday night called Nicks, right across the street from Harry Ass Truman College, a city college. I hated that president with a passion. Why? He was a stupid country hick with dellusions of granduer, oh and he was a hater. He hated General Mc'Arthur who was a bad mofo. If the stupid prez hadn't fired Mc'Arthur, North and South Korea wouldn't have been divided. That crazy bastard wanted to invade China. He was such a military genius he very well could have. Of course not many peeps know this. It makes my blood boil that the younger gen of dipshiet South Koreans don't even realize the extreme significance and sacrifices the U.S. has made on their behalf. They would've gotten raped and pillaged by the commies if it weren't for us.

Inside, I saw a few people's I didn't know too well, regulars of this dingey joint. I shoot a game of pool and down a few beers. Some loud obnoxious yuppie's gloating in an annoying tone about how he sunk the 8 ball in on the break like he's a big ole pimp. He even bought me a cheap beer cos he thought it galvanized me. Inwardly I was mocking him, like I really give a hot fart about a game of pool...and dude how can you be so small minded to even think that, you sniveling little idiot!!! Then there was this black girl who I knew who was there with her boyfriend who's a security guard at Truman. I left but saw her the other night walking back to my crib. She told me some drunk Chinaman and a Transvestite came in and bought her a drink then the Chinese guy fisted her boyfriend in the ass. Only in uptown I said, laughing.

Once, as I walked past Truman I saw a old homeless lady swinging her arms up and down like she was a bird in mid-flight, taking a dump on the sidewalk. The area around the bar is usually full of petty little hustlers, cheap crooks, crackwhores, beggars and piss poor pandhandlers. Most of them live in this low rent hotel right under the el station. Sometimes I imagine myself with an RPG firing a nice missile into the place just to see it go up in flames. In this self indulgent dream-vision I'm laughing hysterically and drinking vodka straight. Also puffing on a fat immitation Cuban cigar.

I smuggled some Cubans out of Heathrow airport into O'Hare once. My dad smoked them, and he said they aren't all that. Big gratitude considering I could've gotten in trouble with such contraband! My efforts are never appreciated.

One homeless guy comes up to me and says 'Yes I'll be your panhandler for the evening, I'd like to deprive you of any excess change so I can go get my drink on' and I gave the guy a buck because he made me chuckle. Another bum came up to me and said 'Excellent taste in women my friend' and he said it in such a humorous way I dumped several of those nifty gold dollar coins into his grubby hands.

Sign outside my local liquor store: "We cater to all your Spirit-ual needs"

Labels: urban adventures