Hello self...long time no talk. You're too engrossed with the inane pursuits of mundane ordinariness. Caught up in all of this frivilous meaninglessness.

My cup was ever empty...but it felt overflowing.

Tommorow's the end of the year celebrante. I'm having a little fiesta at my sucasa....the theme's karaoke this year, because me so asian like that don't cha know?

I'll be heading to the Korean market over on Kedzie and Lawrence. I hate that area, out of all area's in the city. It's just this wretched ugly little sector of Chicago where nothing's really happening around.

What I'm gonna need/get:

• Tbone steak (for Kalbi)
• scallions
• sesame seeds
• potstickers ('Mandoo' in Korean)
• Kim-bap (korean sushi-looking snack, minus the raw fish)

Last night my friend Noel came by and we shot the shit over some vodka and juice. The juice was this mango flavored lemonade from Trader Joe's, only $3.50 or so and quite tastey when coupled with vodka. We shot the shit, he's seperating/divorcing with his wife of too many years. I saw her pic on facebook, she's very beautiful and I'd be saddened too if she were my wife and things were shattered beyond salvage. He's a cool cat, smart and humble whereas I'm smart some of the time, and rather crass and cocky the others :) you know me, you know how I do.

For lunch I cooked lemon mushroom chicken for my girlfriend and I. I took these fillet's and seasoned them with seasalt and pepper on both sides...scored each fillet about three times I pan seared them in a white while deglaze. Afterwards, I put some lemon wedges into the slits and tossed them into the oven at 350 degrees for 25 minutes. End result: succulent, juicy, tangy. I'm no iron chef, but I can throw down and undoubtedly better than most of my guy friends that's for damned sure.

My mother comically gave this picture she photoshopped to my girlfriend, and the fact that she was serious about it being a present was all the more comical. We both couldn't stop laughing at it, so we're wrapping it up and going to give it to whomever scores the highest score tommorow night. Seriously, I'm gonna have a stupid laugh at the facial expression of whoever lays claim over the mantle of the almighty mic.

It seems blogging's sorta a moot point, an excercise in creative self indulgence these days. But, it is definitely theraputic. Helps me put things in perspective.

I cleaned the heck out of my pad. My muscles are achy as I've been consistently putting them through frequent punishment. I'm putting this winter to good use, by the time spring comes I'll be sporting some washboard abs and looking quite pimp...oh wait, I already am hot...how forgetful of me :P

Sometimes there's shit you just wanna get, it floats around in the back of your mind...nagging...some of them are purely for mere wanting and not very practical. Here's my list:

• A sundew: this is a carnivorous plant, sorta like the venus flytrap but much more colorful, aesthetically prettier than the venus, and it can animate its tendrills. They're just more rare and harder to maintain.
• Japanese wooden sandals
• Some swords, getting back into sword collecting again.
• Some rare but low maintenance pet. I really would like to get a small shark, pirranah, or a Emperor Scorpion.
• Nunchucks
• A new kung fu uniform (tai chi style) to wear around the house, gray or black prefrebly.

Everywhere I turned and looked I saw nothingness staring back at me profoundly...mocking me for looking for gravitas in meaninglessness.

My own school of thought was one comprised of a very subtle almost confucian perspective. The truth of self, self realization, self actualization. These might sound dauntingly abstract but they're so not, but thats the thing about simplicity...the western mindset complicates matters in a reactionary automated fashion.

How can you possibly learn anything remotely original, outside the box and unique when you're bombarded and surrounded by a moronic greed for sensory stimuli? Apathy was a commonplace state of things. There's no aliveness, and intellectual matters merely circulated viciously in a endless cycle of conceited opinions based on what? The fresh bullshit contrived by mass media moguls. So scuze if I find most peeps thoughts about things to be recycled and repackaged shit.

I pray you don't misconstrue this as being some sort of blasted blog, because really it's not. It doesn't revolve around me, or any discernable topic besides what the spirit compels me to write about. In all honestly I don't have much to teach you as far as things of interest other blogs can, like how to do oragami or proper dumpster diving ettiquette. All this shit can be easily had if one wants to learn it, someone doubtlessly will teach it to you if they haven't a great deal of content already existing about the strange subject of yours.

I am rather fond of words and the writing of words. I don't particularly share in the delightful habit certain Midwest folk enjoy of doling out precious 10 dollar trendy words in a lame attempt to enact pulp fiction wit peppered banter. I've never felt the compulsatory need to vagrantly flaunt my bad assness with the Engrish language, nor brag about how clever I can employ the lingua franca so cunningly. I find myself mocking those types of folk, saying something to the effect of 'Wow your use of English is masterfully deft (or deff)'. If they respond with a flattered reaction I'll be laughing my inward ass off.

So once more, all apologies if you came here under the pretext that this here was indeed, a blog.

I'm more of a journal keeper, and a lover of journals. I've always kept em in some shape or form, even though I've had several years word destroyed accidently. It had saddened me, for those novels were the remaining coil to my earlier past...and it galvanized me with such strength of nastalgia that it would make an emo person want to vomit violently.

Though I am no lover of philosophy. Once I was, that was some time ago...but I grew to despise the viciousness of its run around pattern. There was no resolution, I consider that to be pure madness. Dwelling and contemplation over the same ole shit...whats the crux of philosophy anyways? Does God exist or doesn't he is usually the main focus.

Had to go visit a client out in Wheaton via the Metra train. I hate the burbs! This morning was ass-kicking cold...but tolerable for someone like me. There was this pained look on all of the gaunt faced commuters, it was sorta comical...they wore these deadpan expressions like they were suffering immensely. Some of them just looked like they needed to take a huge dump.
It feels like I'm so far removed, as if I were in some hick town in the Twighlight zone and something kooky was about to happen to me.
I could've sworn the same blond chick who sat in the seat in front of me also sat in the seat in front of me on the way back...not a big deal, but it struck me as odd.
Good deed of the day: gave this black guy $2.00 and a Fuji apple. He was pretty cool, asked me where I was from and what I was doing out in bumblefuck Illinois....trying to get paid mister!
Whenever I'm on the Metra I feel like I'm gonna meet Kate Winslet and we're going to do a enactment of 'Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind'. I remember when I used to constantly write in my blasted journals...how I hate journaling now. Who would appreciate my brilliant adventures anyways? :P