I was watching Startrek the next generation, well not exactly watching rather it was just on while I was playing yahoo! chess. In this episode, Wharf wants to go and discover if he has any faith. He goes to a planet where a bunch of religious Klingons are getting in touch with their spiritual side.Then, Kayless a God-like figure to the Klingon empire comes before him. Wharf's skeptical at first, but after awhile becomes convinced. Later, Galron exposes Kayless as a fraud, and later its learned this Kayless character is a clone made from the blood of the original Kayless. They declare the Kayless clone the Emperor.

This story struck in me an idea. I should be Emperor, supreme chancellor, boss and what not. Because I represent an idea and like I learned in V for Vandetta you can't kill an idea. You can't touch, kiss, hurt, or kill an idea. You can't fuck with or silence an idea for that matter. Anotherwards I'd be invincible, just let me live inside your heart and soul and mind. Words are life after all.

I was thinking of a means of packaging myself as an idea. I call it the Love Cult. Have you seen Eyes Wide Shut? It'd be like a cross between that masked sex society meets Fight Club, but instead of beating the living crap out of one another we'd have group orgies while enjoying such cable classics as Entourage, Rome, or Deadwood (get it, dead wood? lmfao) other ideas came to mind, like Fcuk Club, or Joy Fcuk club...but love's always a compelling word. This is my retirement pension idea. Joining is cheap, $19.95 a month. We divy this secret underground organization up into local chapters, meet in people's houses and have singles parties. One caveat is that only attractive peeps are allowed, fat and ugly people have to enter into a special group that has to train in our illustrious program thats really like The Biggest Loser meets Nip Tuck, we call it Loser Tuck or ur fcuked. I know this because Tyler knows this.

First on my secret agenda would be to forge a super elite council of leaders, my own Legion of Doom. Being the evil genius that I already am I would of course be the Lex Luthor of this prestigiously pimp possee...I am the James Bond of all Asians after all. I'd be in charge of the Asian chapter, while my second in command would lead the Latin group. Because my power will swell exponentially I would have to hire two drop dead gorgeous female assassins as my personal bodyguards, hire a gay asian male secretary so I could crack politically incorrect jokes like Ari on Entourage, and set up a captains chair like James T. Kirk's on the oldschool set for the Enterprise. Then I'd have a hot Korean actress doing belly dancing for me all day only taking breaks so I can do bodyshots off of her banging booty.

Damn, I hate it when I drink Redbull.

Labels: Art of Life